Personalities: The Southern Belle
Part of a humorous series mapping regional stereotypes to the types of personalities you may encounter as a manager of people.
Two southern belles were sitting on the front porch of an estate. The first looks to the other and says, “See that fancy car in the drive? My man bought that for me when we were dating.” The second simply smiles and says, “That’s nniiccee”.
The first then holds out her hand and says, “See this 2 carat diamond ring? My beau bought it for me when we got engaged.” Again, the second southern belle simply smiles and says, “That’s nniiccee”.
The first southern belle then says “For our anniversary this year, snookums is takin’ us to Hawaii”. Yet again, the second southern belle simply smiles and says, “That’s nniiccee”.
Thinking she could not be topped, the first lady asks the second “So what has your man done for you?”
“He sent me to charm school.”
“Why in the world would he send you to charm school?”
“So I would say ‘That’s nniiccee’ instead of ‘F—k you’”.
That is an old joke in the south, but I use it to prove a point. Your team is made of all types of personalities. Some will be rude to your face, others may just grunt when you say “Hi”. Others may be the proverbial brownnoser and then there are the Southern Belles. The Southern Belle will be very polite and you will think everything is going perfectly fine with this person. Some might call the Southern Belle a backstabber, but their charm and grace sets them apart from all others. Little do you know that they are planning a deep and evil revenge that can threaten the very fabric of your team.
So how do you deal with this personality type? First, you must be able to recognize it. This is difficult because the Southern Belle has had years of experience and guidance in mastering their art. You can easily confuse them with the brownnoser or other polite appearing types. The key in identifying a Southern Belle is to observe them in their interactions with others. Through this observation, you will see the hidden evil appear like a fog in the night. Once you have identified the Southern Belle, you must now turn your attention to managing her (and yes, I’ve seen plenty of male Southern Belles too).
First, identify their motivation. A Belle is out for something – a promotion, raise, transfer or even the demise of a coworker. This motivation may change based on whom they are dealing with, but you cannot fight this beast without knowing. Secondly, never take any feedback from the Southern Belle at face value, especially if it is concerning another employee. Always remember that there are two sides to every story and the Belle may be out for blood. And lastly, be very careful what you share with the Belle. Realize that anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of public opinion.
Most importantly do not get angry when the Belle comes after you. Realize from the start it will happen eventually. He’ll suck you dry if you let him. The key in minimizing the damage is to treat them with decorum and respect. Never, never, never stoop to their level. This is one of those situations where accidentally venting in front of others can cause an acute case of LACES.
So why keep a Southern Belle on staff? The key is to understand your group dynamics and culture. Depending on the situation, some companies only focus on productivity and goal achievement. Typically, the Belle will make sure they meet or exceed these. It is their safety net against any backlash from their actions. If your team or organization strives for a cohesive team where trust is at a premium, then avoid the Belle at all costs.
Filed under: Personalities