Leading IT

This is probably the most important post I could ever right about leadership. Too many times, when we move into a leadership role, we try to become someone we are not. We read dozens of books on leadership and try to follow some “expert” advice and transform into what we think need to become to be an effective leader. Unfortunately, this can make you miserable and place your role in jeopardy. Even I have fallen into this easy trap.

When I accepted my last management position, I decided that it “required” me to be somebody I’m not. I thought it would require patience, coddling, micromanagement and a more “happy” me. I quickly found that it made me miserable and everybody around me knew that it wasn’t the real me. Things fell apart quickly. So when I moved on from that position and accepted my current job, I vowed to be ME! You can sum me and my management personality up pretty quickly.

• Grumpy bordering on angry
• Blunt to a fault
• Cuss too damn much
• Trusting – until you burn that trust, then good luck!
• Will fight for my team more than anyone will ever know

That’s pretty much me. Most of the management experts and books will tell you that most of these qualities do not make a good manager. How can I disagree? I’ve been in this position for almost 3 years and I’ve never had a complaint or bad review. My team knows they can trust me to do right by them and I’ll always have their back. BUT, they also know that I will correct them and make the tough decisions when necessary.

Why did I just give you all that? To give you an example of why you shouldn’t follow the books hook, line and sinker. Every book has great value and can teach you quite a bit about the management world. Just do me a favor and don’t pick one author or mentor and mimic them. Different personalities require different management techniques. Even different positions require it. That’s why some managers may succeed in one company and fail miserably at others. I would argue that these managers were also personally miserable in their attempts, but needed the job or the title.

How do you avoid being placed in that situation? Be yourself in the interview! Don’t give them what you think they want to hear. Give them you! If they decide that YOU aren’t a good fit, then accept it and move on to the next interview. Sometimes corporate cultures are so strong that different personalities just don’t fit. Example: ask me to be a micromanager and I will damn near laugh in your face. But ask my ex-boss to be a micromanager and he wouldn’t know any other way.

By the way, this post will also be the last “professional” post. Don’t cheer just yet! I’m in the middle of a site redesign and theme that will more accurately depict me and my style. Stay tuned for the new and improved blog!

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Part of a humorous series mapping regional stereotypes to the types of personalities you may encounter as a manager of people.

Two southern belles were sitting on the front porch of an estate. The first looks to the other and says, “See that fancy car in the drive? My man bought that for me when we were dating.” The second simply smiles and says, “That’s nniiccee”.

The first then holds out her hand and says, “See this 2 carat diamond ring? My beau bought it for me when we got engaged.” Again, the second southern belle simply smiles and says, “That’s nniiccee”.

The first southern belle then says “For our anniversary this year, snookums is takin’ us to Hawaii”. Yet again, the second southern belle simply smiles and says, “That’s nniiccee”.

Thinking she could not be topped, the first lady asks the second “So what has your man done for you?”

“He sent me to charm school.”

“Why in the world would he send you to charm school?”

“So I would say ‘That’s nniiccee’ instead of ‘F—k you’”.

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That is an old joke in the south, but I use it to prove a point. Your team is made of all types of personalities. Some will be rude to your face, others may just grunt when you say “Hi”. Others may be the proverbial brownnoser and then there are the Southern Belles. The Southern Belle will be very polite and you will think everything is going perfectly fine with this person. Some might call the Southern Belle a backstabber, but their charm and grace sets them apart from all others. Little do you know that they are planning a deep and evil revenge that can threaten the very fabric of your team.

So how do you deal with this personality type? First, you must be able to recognize it. This is difficult because the Southern Belle has had years of experience and guidance in mastering their art. You can easily confuse them with the brownnoser or other polite appearing types. The key in identifying a Southern Belle is to observe them in their interactions with others. Through this observation, you will see the hidden evil appear like a fog in the night. Once you have identified the Southern Belle, you must now turn your attention to managing her (and yes, I’ve seen plenty of male Southern Belles too).

First, identify their motivation. A Belle is out for something – a promotion, raise, transfer or even the demise of a coworker. This motivation may change based on whom they are dealing with, but you cannot fight this beast without knowing. Secondly, never take any feedback from the Southern Belle at face value, especially if it is concerning another employee. Always remember that there are two sides to every story and the Belle may be out for blood. And lastly, be very careful what you share with the Belle. Realize that anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of public opinion.

Most importantly do not get angry when the Belle comes after you. Realize from the start it will happen eventually. He’ll suck you dry if you let him. The key in minimizing the damage is to treat them with decorum and respect. Never, never, never stoop to their level. This is one of those situations where accidentally venting in front of others can cause an acute case of LACES.

So why keep a Southern Belle on staff? The key is to understand your group dynamics and culture. Depending on the situation, some companies only focus on productivity and goal achievement. Typically, the Belle will make sure they meet or exceed these. It is their safety net against any backlash from their actions. If your team or organization strives for a cohesive team where trust is at a premium, then avoid the Belle at all costs.

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After spending numerous hours of my life in discussions about what servant leadership is and is not, I have decided to go into greater depth to argue against one of the key misconceptions about servant leadership that I consistently encounter. However, before hopping up onto my soapbox, I want to you a quick history on Servant Leadership.

Dr. Robert K. Greenleaf coined the phrase “Servant Leadership” in his 1970 essay entitled “The Servant as Leader”. In that essay, he said:

“The servant-leader is servant first… It begins with the natural feeling that one wants to serve, to serve first. Then conscious choice brings one to aspire to lead. That person is sharply different from one who is leader first, perhaps because of the need to assuage an unusual power drive or to acquire material possessions…The leader-first and the servant-first are two extreme types. Between them there are shadings and blends that are part of the infinite variety of human nature.”

“The difference manifests itself in the care taken by the servant-first to make sure that other people’s highest priority needs are being served. The best test, and difficult to administer, is: Do those served grow as persons? Do they, while being served, become healthier, wiser, freer, more autonomous, more likely themselves to become servants? And, what is the effect on the least privileged in society? Will they benefit or at least not be further deprived?”

While Dr. Greenleaf may have coined the phrase of servant leadership and applied it to the business world, the concept is not new. The concepts date as far back as 600 B.C. Philosophers like Lao Tzu and Chanakya touted the same core tenants in their research and ancient writings.

With today’s history lesson out of the way, what does that mean to you? Servant leadership differs from more traditional business management models in that it focuses on morality, trust, empathy (note that empathy does not equal sympathy – more on this later) and the ethical use of power. Only when a leader effectively collaborates and obtains the trust of their team will they achieve true leadership.

When speaking with individuals and business leaders about servant leadership, the key misconception that I run into is that “it is a soft leadership style that just won’t work in modern business”. This could not be further from the truth, but from where does this idea originate? Many of the proponents of servant leadership fall into two categories that seem to conflict with a successful implementation into the business world: the religious supporters and the uneducated supporters.

Since morality and humility are cornerstones in most accepted religions, it is no surprise that many purport to the use of servant leadership. Since I have never been formally involved in this type of leadership role, I cannot argue for or against its success. What I can say is that many business leaders consider the model of a church and the model of a business to be on opposite ends of a spectrum. Churches are compassionate and giving; business is about making money and protecting the bottom line. This dichotomy of philosophy means that many business leaders do not feel that a management style that is successful in one would work in the other.  In addition to this dissimilar goal, businesses have also witnessed many attempts of integrating servant leadership into the business world with failed results. Sadly, these results were due in large part to the poor education of its practitioners.

Many adopters of servant leadership easily confuse the tenant of empathy to mean sympathy. Empathy simply means to identify with someone else’s specific situation. Sympathy means the act of sharing the same feeling as someone else. Example: I can empathize with someone on my team who is having a tough time with a specific project without sympathizing (sharing their feeling of defeat) with them because I never gave up on a project. Servant leadership stresses empathy, not sympathy. Empathy is understanding, sympathy goes beyond understanding and may interfere with business decisions. By standing with empathy, the servant leader can make difficult business decisions based on performance while sympathy may drag the decision out, thus hurting the overall bottom line of the business.

This confusion by practitioners has led to the perception that servant leadership does not involve any goal setting or corrective action. Some might even call it soft. While the perception from authoritarians may be as soft and “foo foo” (actually heard that in a meeting one day), the fact is that true servant leadership still dictates goal setting and tough-love for anyone unable to meet expectations. The only difference is in how it is handled and the attitude of management. “A servant leader knows that their most important contribution is making sure the rest of the organization has what they need to succeed.” Instead of wielding supremacy and authority, a servant leader focuses influencing others to reach a common goal. If they are unable to meet this goal, then even a servant leader must take the appropriate actions to get the ship moving in the right direction.

So the next time you hear somebody say “servant leadership doesn’t work in business” or “it’s too soft”, point them to this article or one of the resources below for some edumacation J

Explanation
http://www.betternetworker.com/articles/view/what-is-a-servant-leader

http://www.slideshare.net/sevenpillarsofservantleadership/seven-pillars-of-servant-leadership-leaderserve-model

http://www.greenleaf.org/whatissl/

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